Parents cave for all sorts of well-intentioned reasons. We like to please our kids and create happy memories. We want trips to stores and restaurants to be pleasant and hassle-free. Plus, giving in is a lot easier than saying no. Although there's nothing wrong with buying your kid an occasional small toy during a supermarket run or taking him to the zoo as a special treat, you raise the risk of creating a spoiled brat if you do these things in response to his incessant pleading. Your job is to reinforce good behavior, not bad.

Of course, you want to make your children happy. But you also want to raise future adults who are appreciative and grateful. Find the perfect balance with our expert tips.

Avoid apologizing for disappointments.

There's no need to be remorseful about not being able to buy her pricey boots that aren't in your budget or putting off a trip to the park because you have to cook dinner. It's beneficial to empathize with her disappointment, since doing so shows that you respect her feelings. Just don't harp on what caused it ("I know you're sad that we can't visit the playground, but we don't have time today; we'll go another time"). Helping a child accept that she won't get everything she wants is an important life lesson.

Don't debate your house rules.

You can’t let your children argue about house rules, such as wearing their bike helmets or clearing their breakfast plates. Your kids have the right to be disappointed or upset when they don't get their way, but you shouldn't engage them in a verbal back-and-forth.

Manage meltdowns.

No parent likes listening to a tantrum, whether it's from a child who refuses to leave a playdate or an 8-year-old who slams her door over your refusal to buy her a cell phone. But giving in is far worse. The main reason a kid will continue to have meltdowns is that they're successful. Don't engage the behavior and it will stop ... eventually. If you're home, simply ignore it as long as your child is not in danger of hurting herself or others. When kids realize that you won't be manipulated when they make a scene, they're less likely to try that tactic in the future.

Teach your kids the lost art of patience.

Refusing or at least holding off on indulgences will help your child develop self-discipline and allow him to place a higher value on the things he receives. It's critical to teach your kids restraint by example as well. Look for opportunities for them to see you waiting for the things you want.

Give encouragement instead of gifts.

A child who receives compensation for every little accomplishment will start to lose his natural drive to excel at things. That said, there's nothing wrong with acknowledging your child's achievement, whether it's for a great effort in building a block tower or a positive report card. As long as you label your treat a celebration rather than a reward, letting him pick his favorite place for dinner or enjoy an ice-cream sundae with his buddies won't spoil him. Promise.

Taken from PARENTS MAGAZINE