Tearful, tantrum-filled goodbyes are common during a child's earliest years. Most parents are uncomfortable when their child is upset or crying. But some parents are much more troubled by their child’s feelings when the child is reacting to physical separation. For these parents, leaving their child with a babysitter/nanny or dropping him/her at preschool is emotionally unbearable.

Separation anxiety tends to last throughout the toddler years. But the period of extreme neediness usually peaks between 10 and 18 months and eases by 2 years. A child should be fully out of it by age 3.

Sadly, a child with prolonged separation anxiety is at increased risk of developing patterns of insecure attachment relationships, low self-confidence, and school drop-out.

Here are some strategies you can do to help your child build confidence and eliminate separation anxiety:

1. Timing is everything. Map out the transitions.  Prepare of a visual schedule to assist your child with anticipating on activities for the day. 

2. Practice. Practice being apart from each other, and introduce new people and places slowly. If your child is starting to go to preschool, make a few visits there together before a full-time schedule begins.

3. Be calm and consistent. Stay calm and show confidence in your child. Create an exit ritual during which you say a pleasant, loving, and firm goodbye such as, “I love you, see you soon.” It may also include a special hand shake or high-five or one hug and two cheek kisses.  When you say you're leaving, mean it; coming back will only make things worse.

4. Follow through on promises. Reassure him or her that you'll be back on the time you promised. This is critical — this is how your child will develop the confidence that he or she can make it through the time apart.

SOURCES:    1. Kids Health for Parents    
2. Good Health: The Transmission of Separation Anxiety from Parent to Child