Parenting is always a challenge, but parenting in public can be some of the hardest moments. Even well-adjusted and wonderful children have their own episodes. Instead of threatening your children with consequences, why not help them become the kind of person who understands what behavior is appropriate. Excursion to public places is actually an opportunity for them to practice and master the public social skills. So what steps can parents take to help their children improve their social behavior in public settings?

1. Tend to Basic Needs
Be pre-emptive. Every child has five basic physical needs that must be met. If any of these needs are unfulfilled, they may feel anxious, uncomfortable or threatened. These needs include:

• Hunger (need for food or nutrition)
• Thirst (need for drink)
• Air (need for open space)
• Rest (need for relaxation; reduction of stress)
• Exploration (need to satisfy curiosities)
• Elimination of waste (ability to conveniently access the bathroom facilities)

Don't take a tired, hungry child anywhere. Bring snacks and water. Explore a bit and make him aware of the locations of the restrooms in the building, or make sure that he uses the bathroom before leaving home (elimination of waste). Before going to a place requiring him to sit longer, let your child run and roughhouse outside for a few minutes, and pour your love into him while he giggles. The more connected he feels to you, the calmer he'll be.

2. Prepare Your Child
Whenever possible, give the child advance notice before taking him to a public setting. Explain, even to a baby, what will be happening. Describe what you will do, and any expectations you have for your child's behavior, such as do not fight, listen to your parents, no gadget while eating and talk using your words, no whining.

If your child will be participating in an activity in a novel or unfamiliar setting, a “dry run” may be helpful. Visit and explore the site before the event. By doing this, the child’s anxiety is greatly allayed. He will have lots of things and names to learn at the meeting, but at least the setting will be familiar and unthreatening.

3. Act as a Parent not a Friend
Please do not act like a cool friend and forget that you are the parent. This is a huge mistake. You are the parent first which means you are the “boss” and you set the rules and expectations for your children. Your kids have to respect you as their parents. Then, of course as your friend. If you are trying to be a friend, they are not going to take you seriously when you are trying to discipline them. 

Do not give up and be consistent at all times. You have to follow through with your rules and with the consequences. Otherwise, your kids will not behave in public. They need to know that you are serious and that you are not going to budge. 

4. Involve Your Child to Contribute Positively
Describe the situation and explore with your child what kinds of contributions would be helpful. Let him help you find and test the screw driver you need, or let him help pay the cashier. This will always take more time than if you just pull him along, but you'll finish the errand with a happier  and more intellectually curious child. As you discuss visiting family or friends, practice hellos and goodbyes so your child is more comfortable with those often-tricky greetings.

5. Stay Present to Your Child
Often when children "act out" in public or when they're visiting relatives, it's because they feel our attention is elsewhere. That makes them a bit insecure, so they act out to get the reassurance that we're still attending to them. The more we can stay connected with a child, the less he will act out, always.

When your child gets restless, don't ignore it. A young child simply can't be patient on command. She needs your calm support to get back into balance, or she'll fall apart. So instead of speeding up, start by slowing down and taking a deep breath to calm yourself. Then, take a minute to reconnect with her -- hug, make eye contact, sing to her softly, or twirl her around. That might be enough to shift your child's mood and give you time to complete your errand -- with both of you in a good mood! 

6. Model Desired Behavior
If you want your children to behave in public; meaning not yell, be loud, argue, or throw tantrums, you have to model the behavior that you are asking for. For example, If you do not want your kids using technology while eating at a restaurant, then try not to use your own phone either.

7. Move Your Child to a More Private Place
If your child has a meltdown, it's impossible to attend to him. Just scoop him up and remove him from the situation. Maybe you can go to your car, or to an out of the way spot where you won't be disturbing other people. Just as important, you won't be tempted to parent the way onlookers think you should, so you can follow your own parenting instincts.

Remember your first responsibility is to your child. When your child is screaming, naturally you want to control your child to keep them quiet, even if control isn't your usual approach. Until you help your child with whatever problem is causing them to scream, they will probably keep screaming, so better stay calm and connect with your child. 

Counting 1-5 is another way to get your kids to behave in public. It is super effective because it tricks your child into thinking something bad is going to happen when you reach the number 5. Of course, they will not let you count to 5. For example, you can say, ”I want you to stop yelling in 1-2-3-4? and just watch your child stop yelling before you say the number 5. Now if you do get to number 5, you have to follow through with a consequence!

8. Praise Them 

When your child is behaving in public or doing something that you asked them to do, praise them. Let them know that you are proud of them. Tell them “thank you for listening to me when I asked you to do this” or “I’m so happy about the way that you behaved when we went to the store”. This will make your child feel good, and he/she will want to keep behaving just to see you happy.

I want you to know that you are not a bad parent because your child is misbehaving in public, You are not. Please! You are not a failure either. All you need is guidance and consistency in order to get your child to listen to you and behave. Be patient and you will see results!